by Freya

Disclaimer: "The Division", "CSI: Crime Scene Investigators," "Birds of Prey," "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," the characters, and situations depicted are respectively the property of Lifetime Television, Kedzie Productions, Viacom Productions, and Paramount [The Division]; Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis, and CBS Productions [CSI: Crime Scene Investigators]; Tollin/Robbins, DC Comics, and Time/Warner via the WB [Birds of Prey]; and Wolf Films, Universal Network Television, and NBC [Law & Order: SVU]. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "The Division", "CSI: Crime Scene Investigators," "Birds of Prey," "Law & Order: SVU," Lifetime Television, CBS, the WB, NBC, or any representatives of the actors.

[Please do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Thank you. Shatterpath]

Author's Disclaimer: No, they don't belong to me and yes, we all know that.
Spoiler: Very slightly for Pilot and Sins Of The Mother
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Dinah's POV
Summary : Dinah does some thinking ... concerning her guardian.
Pairing: Barbara/Dinah, Barbara/Helena
Feedback: Because of it I continue to exist *lol*
Archive: My page Everybody else please ask if you think it's worth archiving!
Warning: This suggests the idea of a 16 year old and an adult together in more than a friendly way. And two women none the less! If any of these facts bothers you, don't read this!
Note: Since there's the lack of B/D fictions out there, which seems like the biggest lack in fiction ever, I decided to write this short (627 words!) little piece. It's not good and was finished in about thirty minutes due to time pressure, but I've wanted to write for this pairing for so long that I'm actually at the point where I don't care any more about quality! Sad! And I guess everyone remembers what it's like to be sixteen and in love with your teacher. God knows I do!

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The Clocktower is rather quiet for a Saturday night.I'm sitting on the couch, flipping through some texts the teachers gratefully decided to give to us over the weekendand apart from the rustling of my papers there's almost no other


The ever apparent ticking of the giant clock could lull me to sleep, if I didn't know that I had some serious homework to finish. On the other end of the room the Delphi system hums its endless monotonous tune and the rapid typing on its keyboard indicates that Barbara still isn't finished with whatever she's been working on for ... dunno ... the whole day. Louder and more permanent than all of this ,though, is to me the sound of breathing emanating from the redhead.

She's on comm, since Huntress is out on sweep, and every word and every breath is in my ear as if I was standing right next to her, so close it would be inconvenient. I couldn't resist the pull my own transceiver had on me and so I put
it on, the bat ear-ring hidden behind my long blond hair.

Wouldn't want Barbara to know that I was listening in on their conversations, or rather on her, since that's what I've been doing. Wouldn't want Barbara to know that her newest young ward has the biggest crush known to mankind on her. Wouldn't want her to freak.

Because, seriously, isn't it enough to go through that once? Helena's been there, done that, and now she has her. Has the object of both our affection and desire where I want to have her. In her arms, in her bed, in her heart.

I admit, I am jealous, God I am so jealous beyond words, but as much as I try to dislike Helena for that, dislike, not hate, because hate's such a strong word, I just cannot.

I love Helena. I can't decide if I love her like a sister or more like a friend, but I guess somehow its in both ways, very twisted in its own way. But that's not like I love Barbara. When I first came here I was simply grateful that they were letting me stay, no ulterior motive whatsoever. I got to know them as friends, then as my family. But somewhere along the line my feelings for her didn't stop at family.

There was no sign saying 'no further' and my heart just switched to high gear and  flew down the dead-end saying 'love'. That's how I ended up in this mess.

It really is a mess. God, she's like twice as old as me. She is about the same age my mother is! Or rather was. And what she definitely doesn't need is some hormone driven horny teenager lusting after her.

Hell, she's not only my guardian, but also my teacher!!! What would her colleagues say if they ever found out about me? They'd have to think that Barbara was somehow manipulating the innocent minds of her young wards to fall in love with her.

But who needs a hormone driven horny teenager lusting after them? Apart from the pervs, no sane person does, and Barbara is everything but a perv. She's intelligent and kind and absolutely mind-blowingly beautiful and sexy and ... see, I'm a lost cause!

But I can't help it!

Even know, that I'm sitting here sulking over my homework, I can't take my mind off of her. And if I'm honest I couldn't, even if I wanted to. That's the weird thing about love, right? As much as it hurts, you still crave it.

I'm no exception. After all I'm just some hormone driven horny 16 year old teenager lusting after an amazing woman. It's human!

~Fin ~