Title: I’m glad you’re not dead.
Author: Cassán
Author’s Email: Cassanlynx@yahoo.co.uk
Rating: R
Pairing: Ziva David / Abigail Sciuto
Category: Romance
Genre: Femslash
Summary: Ziva and Abs have a talk…
Spoilers: Depends. You can read it as tagged to either (3.21) Bloodbath or (4.20) Cover Story –I wrote it as tagged to Cover Story, but it’s up to you-, there’s a small reference to (3..18) Iced and the title is stolen from (3.12) Boxed in.
Warnings: light d/s

Disclaimer: "NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Services," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Belisarius Productions, Paramount Network Television Productions, Paramount Television, and CBS Television. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with " NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Services," CBS, or any representatives of Pauley Perrette or Cote de Pablo.

Author's Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.

I’m glad you’re not dead.

“I think he didn’t understand how young and foolish you can be.”

The voice is soft, almost gentle. But there’s an edge to it. There’s something that makes her skin crawl… makes her hair rebel, gives her Goosebumps. They’re standing too close. Much too close for it to be appropriate. And usually she doesn’t mind being close to others. But this isn’t a hug. This isn’t an arm drabbed over her shoulder. The girl’s standing right behind her. Close enough to whisper into her ear. Close enough to feel the warmth of her body. To feel the tickling of her breath. And she’d never admit it. But right now she’s a little scared. There’s something commanding about the voice. Something almost a little impersonal. Held back anger, boiling under the surface.

“I shouldn’t have let him stop me. I should have taught you no matter what. I’ll do what I can to keep you safe. But what if we’re too late some day? What if that man had killed you?”


“Don’t argue now. Gibbs isn’t the only one who wants you safe, you know. DiNozzo and McGee are worried out of their heads if you get threatened. And Ducky...”

She tries to turn but a hand on her shoulder stops her, forces her to look ahead. Forces her to look at one of the pictures in her lab. It’s the shotgun shattered backbone. But just now she can’t appreciate the beauty. It’s a DiNozzo thing to look at these pictures with her. She rarely does it on her own. But Tony is trying to cheer up Timmy after what happened. And Gibbs is busy scaring the hell out of the guy who tried to… She tries to turn her head again but it’s forced forward, more determined this time.

“I want you to look at this. Tell me what you see.”

“It’s a…”

“No. I want you to tell me what you see.”


“Loads of blood. Yes.”

She doesn’t know what to say. Waits for Ziva to go on. Explain this. Any of it.

“I see blood when I close my eyes now, Abby. Do you know what could have happened? Do you even realise…”

“Thanks for your concern, but…”

“You’re not some weak little girl. The men might want to see you as one. They might want to treat you as one. But you’re not. And I can’t take seeing blood every time I close my eyes. Every time you get threatened, you almost get killed…”

Ziva’s grip tightens, hurts her. But she doesn’t resist. It’s just a moment. It’ll pass and it’ll all be okay again.

“I like you, you know. I didn’t think I would when you acted like the world and everyone in it belonged to you. But I like you now. And I want you safe.”

“It’s okay…”

She is safe. Gibbs always comes and saves her, no matter what. He promised.

“No. It’s not okay. It’s far from okay.”

And now she is turned. Turned so she faces Ziva. Faces the tears in her eyes. Damn. Up to this moment she didn’t know Ziva could cry.


Finally, finally her hands are free and she cups her friend’s face.

“Don’t worry. Nothing will ever happen to me, I promise. Gibbs will watch over me. And you can teach me how to shoot. And it’ll all be okay.”

There’s still something scary in Ziva’s eyes. But it’s not anger. It’s…. doubt maybe? She sighs. Does what she always does… wraps her arms around the girl and pulls her close. Rocks her. And prays that no one will come in and see Ziva like this. Well perhaps Ducky. But no one else.

“I… I came here because I want to teach you. But if you don’t want me to, maybe Gibbs…”

She shakes her head.

“I already said you could teach me.”

“But would you obey me?”

That’s a tough one. She’s good at obeying orders if needed. She’s not that good at obeying orders when it’s an ordinary situation. But then, getting trained… and by Ziva… isn’t exactly ordinary.

Time to lighten the mood.

“Oh I’m very good at obeying orders you know…”

Just a little wink, a naughty smirk. And Ziva gives her a look somewhere between disbelief and amusement.

“You can have that kind of orders too if teaching you works better then.”

Now that’s an offer… she’s always been sure Ziva had a thing for hinky too. Just surprising that she’s willing to play along now. But then, the girl’s almost as moody as she is.

“Fine then. I think we shall come to an acceptable agreement.”

Ziva nods, smiles. And she smiles back, grins really. Steals a shy and quick kiss just to be sure they’re talking about the same thing. And they do. Because seconds later she’s pinned against the wall with Ziva’s mouth on her neck and her hands pinned above her head. Needless to say that the killer queen only needs one hand to hold hers. And obviously knows her way around female anatomy way better than the boys, and even the girls, she’s met so far.

“Now imagine Gibbs coming in.”

She whispers and Ziva snorts against her neck. Pushes a third finger inside. Actually Tony would be even hotter. Cause he clearly has a thing for girls getting it on. And she’s always liked Tony. He has such a dirty mind. But damn, getting caught is one of the best things ever…

“How do you do that?”

Her voice is husky. And she can feel that she’s close. Never had someone that good with her fingers before. But it’s Ziva’s expression that makes it even hotter. This evil, little smirk. Slightly superior, a tiny tad arrogant. And really, really cute.

“Like that, feye?”

And she’d love to glare at her for such a stupid question. But she’s currently just a little bit too much at Ziva’s mercy to glare. And maybe she also just can’t be bothered. So she moans and tries to wriggle free a hand to catch a few strands of that lovely brown hair.

“Oh that’s good. Show me that you’re alive.”

And she’s very good at following that order. Although she slumps down afterwards. And almost misses Ziva’s smile as she cleans her hand. Gracefully. Just like a cat. She never realised how catlike that girl is. But the way she carefully licks her hand clean… it’s fascinating. And she’d like to watch all day. If it weren’t for the guys talking. Coming closer.

Getting caught while you’re having sex is hot. Getting caught after you had sex however…

She feels Ziva let go, pulls up her slip, straightens her skirt. And shares a glance with the girl.

“Thanks, Ziva. I think I’ll consider that offer…”

“What offer?”

“Oh Ziva promised she’ll show me how to shoot, you know… so stuff like today won’t happen again.”

“That so, Ziva?”

Ziva nods. Of course.

“Just came to tell you that he’s gone now. Won’t see that man again…”

“Thanks, Gibbs.”

She smiles. Watches as Ziva mumbles something to Tony and pulls him away. Then turns back to her and grins.

“On the weekend, yes, Abby?”

“Okay. I guess you’ll know if I’m forced to work instead.”

Another smirk. Then the two are gone. Before Tony can ask any of his cute little “why do you guys look so happy” questions.

Gibbs watches them as they go, then smiles at her and pets her cheek.

“Next time tell her to be careful about hickeys, Abs. You wouldn’t want DiNozzo to figure it out and tell McGee about it…”