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[Please do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Thank you. Shatterpath]
Title: ADA Jinx
Author: Shatterpath and Amyray
Pairing: Olivia and her various interests in ADAs.
Summary: This was a pointless laugh fest. A little ditty for the punchline near the end. It was Amy's ideas, I just wrote it. -Shatterpath
"Fate worse than death," Elliot laughed as Munch gave him a dry look. The whole team was there sans Olivia in the bullpen, and Casey eyed them curiously as she walked by.
"Oh, har, har," Munch drawled and Fin laughed.
George grinned and opened his mouth, but Fin jumped in with, "don't give none of that 'subliminally sabotaging the need for companionship,' crap either. The girl is a jinx, plain and simple."
"Hey," Elliot objected as George laughed and laughed. "That's my partner you're talking about."
Now Casey was drawn in, hesitantly stepping over to the jocular men. "Jinx?"
"Girl," Fin jumped up to sling an arm around Casey's shoulders. "You gotta pass up this thing you got for Liv, or be ready to take your life in your hands." Startled, and not more than a little freaked at having her interests so abruptly outted, Casey flinched and Fin tightened his grip. "It ain't like that, Casey. See, Liv's gotta jinx when it comes to ADAs."
"Jinx?" Casey asked again, more curious than threatened now.
"Every ADA Liv hangs out with ends up dead," Elliot supplied conspiratorially. "There was Karen, jumped in Central park, there was that guy who was strangled, then Alex was shot."
"It really is bizarre," Melinda chuckled and wiped tears of laughter from the corner of her eyes.
"But, Carmichael's fine," Casey blurted out and the men howled again.
"Oh no," Munch sighed dramatically. "She got the fate worse than death."
"Yeah, see, we all went out for drinks and I woke up severely hung over in a bathtub in Vegas, with a wedding ring on. Boy, was Abbie pissed as a hungry rattlesnake. There's a reason that I don't talk about the third wife."
Now Casey had to laugh along with the others. Once again Fin gave her shoulders a squeeze. "See? You want her? You gotta suck it up and take your life in your hands."
The look of determination had them all erupting into hysterics yet again.
"What the hell is this?" Olivia muttered as Casey slapped a familiar three-fold sheaf of papers into her hand.
"You've been served, detective," the lawyer said seriously and walked away.
Olivia's jaw hung open as she skimmed over the official-looking documents. "City of New York, Manhattan district hereby requests that one Olivia Benson refrain from any and all social contact with any and all persons associated with the district attorney's office, due to past incidences, as listed below." Sure enough, there was a list of her past companionship and pals. "This is ridiculous," Olivia griped, astonished at what Casey had done. The men deliberately stayed quieted, waiting for Olivia to take the bait.
Then Olivia noticed that the second page had a neon fuchsia edge and anger melted into curiosity and a growing feeling that she'd been had.
There, scrawled across the painfully bright paper in honest-to-Abe crayon were the words, 'I'll take my chances-CN' and a big, dark red lipstick kiss. Olivia could only laugh in delight.